Being Schizoid....

I am quite Paranoid. Like the other day i was telling someone....i'm really scared to part with my personal details on the internet...what if...there are 'dangerous' people lurking around. Not that they would be on a prowl to hunt me down...but who knows rt? Anyway, been thinking about it lately...perhaps i'll upload my picture on the blog one day or reveal my name ...

I think i've become very comfortable in this sense of security....to be known as just schizoid to my unknown audience. In reality Schizoid is not just any term that i have taken a fancy to ....i think the term reflects a part of who i am ...i am a bundle of contradictions... i'm sure most people are...but i'm a people's person on one hand but i'm quite a loner....most of the time...


to be continued...

I love my space...i'm quite guarded about "my space".I think....perhaps i overdo it at times....just think and think about life and career, relationships ....or the lack of it :( .....I dunno therez always something thats weighing on my mind. At present its the project report to be submitted....its just that and nothing more. I sometimes wish i didn't have to think that much...what kind a life would that be...i can hear a voice in my head saying "relaxed"....i'm sure thats true...but that would require some time...to be cool and laid back and "relaxed"...... hmmm ...

I also tend to go over details of some past events over and over again...so much so that it gets magnified....the "repetition trauma" the psychodynamic theorists would eagerly point out. But you know its not always bad....when i spend a lot of time thinking about some issue and analyze it from several angles (as in try to see my stand and the other's) ....over time...it ceases to hold that great a significance. I feel that perhaps my mind becomes weary and stops reacting to it...and the issue then becomes like those countless other issues that are just mundane without much substance....

Anyways, i dunno if i make much sense...but this is how my mind works time and again...

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Music that i'm listen to these days:

* The Vienna Choir Boys ( and especially their rendition of 'Amazing Grace'......its brilliant and very soothing!!!)
*Green Day (When I Come Around, Time of Your Life - Really like this one specially!)
*Melodies of Tibet ( a rather different collection of music from the Land of the Buddha.....its good!)

Quite an eclectic collection....but thats what keeps me going....Music is all about moods...and like my temperament, what i listen to also changes from time to time....